Cruise blog: The Meaning of Seagulls revealed

There are many unanswered questions in life that have stumped the most intellectual of people.

What is the meaning of life, is there an end to the universe and does God exist are three very good examples. But I have another, far more important question, and it is this: are there any benefits to seagulls?

Throughout history, the greatest thinkers and scientists have been trying to solve this most vexing of conundrums. Aristotle, Sir Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein and Professor Stephen Hawking have all wrestled with this subject without finding a satisfactory conclusion.

Cruise blog: where did all the man-eating hornets go?

Everyone likes going on holiday.

And if you go to work, you’ll like going on holiday even more, as it’s the only time of the year when you get paid for doing something thoroughly enjoyable and worthwhile. Unless you’re a Lord sitting in the Upper House of the Palace of Westminster and claiming a daily allowance from the taxpayer for just turning up and falling asleep, that is. I would enjoy doing that, and it would certainly be worthwhile.

Cruise blog: a lobster infestation

There are quite a few things in life that leave me utterly bewildered. Horse racing, Daniel Craig’s portrayal of James Bond and minced beef are just three things that are completely pointless, yet many other people seem to thoroughly enjoy.

Starbucks, sausage skins, ABBA, Sky TV, Sheffield United, Jonathan Ross – all very popular, but to me, wholly irrelevant; I cannot think of one reason why any of these need to exist.