Only ice cream can bring about world peace

After recently saving the Church of England from declining into oblivion with an ingenious idea involving clergy and stickers, I thought I might try to solve an even greater problem than increasing Anglican attendances. The challenge I have set myself is to deal with an issue that most people would file in the ‘impossible’ category. The conundrum is this:

How to instigate world peace.

It’s a tough one, I’ll admit. But it’s nothing a bit of contemplation and deliberation can’t solve. And after thinking about it for almost a few minutes, I have come up with another magnificent solution. It is this:

Ice cream.

Yes, that’s right, the tasty and flavoursome chilled dessert. My answer to bringing harmony to every village, town, city and country of the world relies exclusively on ice cream.

The New Day: it’s called a newspaper – so, where’s the news?

Earlier on this week, a new ‘standalone’ national newspaper was launched, the first, it is claimed, in thirty years. The title is called ‘The New Day’, and despite the fact that it sounds like a religious group’s newsletter, its aim is to attract people who have stopped buying newspapers by giving a brief rundown of the day’s news in an easily and quickly digestible format.

Exactly like the i newspaper then.

However, having bought the second issue of the paper, published on 1st March, I can confirm that it is unlike anything else on the market. It’s even completely different to the i, because whereas the i contains news, The New Day doesn’t.