Hamilton Acronymicals? No, it’s Shonan Bellmare v Urawa Reds!

Acronyms are a strange thing. They express information in easy to use brevity, but without resorting to long and complicated words. But here’s the thing: they only work if you know what they mean.

Some people use them to gain superiority in a conversation or an argument in order to bamboozle everyone and seem superior. But actually, to everyone else, it just sounds like a load of steaming sewage spewing from their face and makes them an arse.

However, there is one rather childish way of getting your own back with someone like this, and that is to reply to their nonsense by nodding sagely and saying “YAAA” after they’ve finished each statement. This has the effect of letting them think that you are agreeing with their incoherent babble and also that you understand it. But in actual fact, you’re responding with your very own acronymical insult:

YAAA = You Are An Arse. You’ll find that German people are particularly good at this.

Oita Trinita v Consadole Sapporo: (a kind of) match review

Being a fan of Japanese football is a bit difficult when one lives in Britain, as I do. There is almost no information about it on terrestrial and traditional media. The only time a Japanese club ever gets mentioned is if they are playing in the FIFA Club World Cup, and then only briefly. The only other time they get mentioned is when Gary Lineker plays for Nagoya Grampus Eight. And since he stopped doing that in 1994, it’s been a bit sparse on J-League news around here.

Enter the internet; I can now see weekly highlights of games via YouTube, albeit all in Japanese. Enter podcasts; or rather, enter a specific podcast: the J-Talk podcast. This is a great weekly listen, with in-depth and reliable analysis from fans and experts alike, and crucially, all conducted in English. But until recently, there has been no way of watching full and live J-League games, even with the super powers of the all conquering internet.

So, enter Rakuten Sports and their J-League match streaming service that went live on the web a few weeks ago. I’ve not had a chance to try it out, but heard a bit about it. So seeing as though it is currently completely free to use and needs just an email address to sign up, I gave it a go. About a minute later, I was watching the first J1 league match I’ve ever seen. And this is what I made of it.